2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore and noticed that the fisherman has caught quite a number of big fishes that is known to be a delicacy. The American was really impressed and ask the fisherman, "How long does it take you to catch so many fishes?"
The fisherman reply : "Oh, just a short while." "Then why don't you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more?" The businessman was astonished.
The fisherman simply does not agree, "This is enough to feed my whole family?" he says. The businessman then asked : "So, what do you do for the rest of the day then?"
The fisherman reply : "Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would go back and play with my kids.
In the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I will join my buddies in the village for a drink, we played guitar, sing and dance throughout the night. My day was ever so complete and carefree."
The businessman does not agree with his way of life and offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
"I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University, specialises in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you have to spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have save enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set-up your own company, your very own production plant for canned food and do direct selling to your distributors.
At that time, you will have moved out of this village and to Mexico city, and then expand your operation to LA, and finally to New York city, where you can set-up your HQ to manage all your other branches."The fisherman asks, "So, how long would that take?" The businessman reply : "About 15 to 20 years." The fisherman continued, "And after that?" The businessman laugh heartily, "After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, by then you will be rich, your income will be coming in by the millions!!" The fisherman ask, "And after that?" The businessman says, "After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning and catch a few fishes, then return home to play with the kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!!" The fisherman was puzzled, "Isn't that what I am doing now...................................

POOR SARDARJIS

A passerby watched two sardarjis in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.
Tell me,' said the passerby,'What on earth are you doing?'
Well,' said the digger,'Usually there are three of us. I dig the hole, Balwant plants the tree saplings and Gurpreet fills in the hole.
Today Balwant is off ill, but that doesn't mean Gurpreet and I get the day off, does it?
#########################

Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from>where
>> he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago.
>> "Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper.
>> "But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter."
>>The
>> shopkeeper answered politely.
>> "Don't fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on
>>the packet
>> of the butter 'Cholesterol free'".
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> One day Santa Singh was home and he went to the kitchen,
>>opened
>> the Sugar bottle, peeped inside and closed it.
>> His wife was seeing this. After some time Santa again went
>>to
>> the kitchen, opened the Sugar Bottle, peeped inside and
>>closed it.
>> His wife again saw this.
>> Santa Singh again and again did the same thing. His wife was
>> puzzled at why did he do something like this..
>> So, she asked Santa, 'Why did you open the Sugar bottle, see
>> inside and close it often?'
>> Santa Singh replied, 'I am a Sugar Patient you know.... Our
>> doctor advised me to check up the Sugar often'.
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Sardarji: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
>> Nurse: B positive
>> Sardarji: please tell me soon ....
>> Nurse: B positive
>> Sardarji: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know the blood
>>my group.
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> A Sardarji bought a new car. Next day he is driving his car
>>to
>> office.
>> On the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he opened
>>the
>> door and got down.
>> Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, 'How much
>> should I pay to turn right?'
>> The Policeman was astonished and asked, 'Why are you asking
>>like
>> this?'
>> Then Sardarji showed him the sign board which was in the
>>corner of
>> the road: 'Free Left Turn'
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Jugnu Singh sees lot of guys running on the highway.
>> Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are
>>doing.
>> The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
>> Jugnu Singh: What do they get from that?
>> Bystander: The winner will get a prize.
>> Jugnu Singh: Then why are the others running?!
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Jugnu Singh and an American were walking outside when
>> the American said "Oh, look at the dead bird."
>> Jugnu Singh looked towards the sky and said "Where, where?"
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Jugnu Singh: I was born in Punjab.
>> Harpal Singh: Oh really, which part?
>> Jugnu Singh: All of me, silly.
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Jugnu : What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a
>>FLY?
>> Harpal : A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Jugnu : Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of..
>> Harpal : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Q: How can you recognize Jugnu Singh in a submarine?
>> A: He is the one with the parachute on his back.
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the
>>telephone.
>> "Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
>> "No, this is eleven eleven."
>> "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
>> "No, this is eleven eleven."
>> "Well, wrong number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have
>>woken you up
>> on the middle of the night."
>> "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the
>>telephone
>> anyway."
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Jugnu Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
>> The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
>> answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but
>>instead
>> of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron
>>and stuck
>> it to my ear."
>> "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
>> "But...what happened to your other ear?"
>> "That fellow called back."
>>
>> #########################
>>
>> Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and
>>asks
>> the barman,"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?".
>> The barman says "Yep, that's them."
>> So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys
>> doing?"
>> Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
>> Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
>> Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million
>> Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
>> The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman!!! Why?
>> Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one
>> would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

Poolish man married a Canadian girl, after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.
Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange
a divorce for him - "very quick. "
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances
and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
Husband: "An acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms."
LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Husband: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
Husband: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
Husband: "All my relations are in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
Husaband: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set and DVD player with 6.1 sound.
We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes "
LAWYER: "No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?"
Husband: "NO, I'm always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
Husband: "NO, she is white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
Husband: "SHE going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
Husband: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
Husband: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says, 'Polish Remover.'"

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

I recently picked a new primary care physicia Be overweight

It may fly in the face of all recent reports but, according to research at the centre for Disease Control, people who weigh a little too much live longer than those who are underweight - Gr8
Be Generous
A study found that older people who are helpful to others reduce their risk of dying by nearly 60 % compared with those who give neither practical help nor emotional support to relatives, neighbors friends or strangers - Do it
Be clever
It is found that people with high IQ results were much more likely to be alive 60 years later than people with low ones - Do you have
Be rich
People further down the social ladder usually run at least twice the risk of serious illness and premature death of those near the top - Are you
Howsz !

Subject: Particular Memon
Importance: High
A memon family in kharadar was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the US It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin with no space left i n it !
When they opened the lid , they found a letter on top, which read as follows: "Dear brothers and sisters, I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the grave yard in Mewa Shah. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On Amma's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Kassam Bhai. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Jubeda's and Jarina's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Amma is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Sattar Bhai and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Amma is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Johra Bai
wanted is on Amma's left wrist. Kulsum Aunty, Amma is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them.The 6 white cotton socks that Amma is wearing must be divided among my teenager nephews. Please distribute all these uniformly and if anything more required tell me now, since our Abba is also not keeping well now a days."